Invoice emails
Apr 22nd, 2010 by john
I send a bi-weekly invoice to our office manager and I've gotten bored with the standard email so a few months ago I started writing silly messages. Here's this week's:
We find our brave engineer on the outskirts of a small town in northern New England. He's holed up in a small, but comfortable, cape in a quiet, heavily wooded residential neighborhood. The sound of a snoring cat and the clacking of keys is all that disturbs the morning. The birds are even strangely quiet today.
Suddenly, there's a large crash out the window! A giant Tyrannosaurus Rex has just lumbered into the front yard! Snarling and snapping at anything within reach – spittle flying in a spray of foam. His roar is deafening after the morning quiet.
Our brave engineer stops typing and stares out the window in disbelief. Dammit, he thinks. The homeowners association clearly states that all pets must be on leashes if outdoors!
Sighing, he goes downstairs to the freezer and pulls out the moose shank he keeps for just this situation. Carefully, he goes out into the dooryard and starts to wave the tasty morsel around.
"Hey, you!" he shouts. "Hey Mr. Squiggles! You dumb oaf!".
The T-Rex looks at him, menace in his eyes. It takes him a minute or so to focus and then he realizes this is not an enemy. His tail starts to wag – giant bone quaking thumps into the ground.
"That's it! Want the bone? Want some brekky? Here, fetch!"
The brave engineer hurls the shank into the neighbors yard and the T-Rex lumbers off after it.
Our brave engineer looks after it for a second and then turns back into the house. He makes a call to his neighbor and with a great effort tries to get back into the work zone.
Soon, there's nothing but the sound of a snoring cat and the clacking of computer keys.